black and white and color.

 

today at work something reminded me of someone i used to date.which led me to thinking back on some of my past relationships. as i was trying to remember details of feelings, events, conversations, & activities we would do.. i couldn't. why is that? it all feels like a dream sometimes. yes, i do remember some things and memories but they are very vague. the color pixels are fading to black and white it seems. i just want to know why i can't remember all the pieces in between. am i just getting old and forgot that part of my life? did i block it out because i was hurt at times? did i not want to remember? did i make myself forget so i could move forward? i could kick myself sometimes for not keeping a more detailed & consistent of a journal the past few years. i do keep a journal but sometimes i purposely leave parts out :)  i want to remember. not because i miss them terribly. but because it's a chapter in my life that i feel like got ripped out of the book. i hate that. do any of you get frustrated when trying to remember the past? i guess all i can do is learn and be more detailed in my current journal and be happy when the rare occasion does come when i remember something that i forgot happened. after all because of the different relationships i have been in they helped mold me into the person i am today. so, thanks boys.